There are two areas that I want to improve in the next few weeks.
First, I've let too many opportunities pass. I know life gives us only a limited number of opportunities, each is precious and not to be wasted. Letting it go, is worse than fucking up. It is giving up. During day game last Saturday, I should have been more aggressive in pursuing these opportunities. Also, when I got the phone # of the stripper before Christmas, I shouldn't have waited until after New Years to call her. She doesn't remember me anymore, and this is a perfect opportunity wasted.
So I'm going to exploit all opportunities. Open sets that I want to open, even if I don't feel quite right. After sets hook, escalate the interaction until it can't go any further. No more excuses; no more slacking.
Second, I think I'm a bit intimidated by the moment. A lot of the time, I'm not living in the here-and-now. My thoughts wander to the past or the future at the most critical of times. I'm not prepared for the intensity of the moment and the pressure gets to me. For example, when I called the HBStripper the first time, I was expecting to get to voicemail and I know what I was going to say. But I wasn't prepared when she actually picked up the phone. I think deep down, I panicked and I left the moment. The interaction wasn't optimal. The second time I called her, I expected her to pick up, but it went to voicemail instead. Again, I wasn't prepared, thoughts ran through my head that had nothing to do with the moment. I left a message that was rushed and not what I wanted. Again, I crumbled under the moment.
What I'm going to do is live more in the moment. I'm going to focus, mediate, and train myself to stay in the moment, until it no longer intimidate me. This is probably harder of the two goals, but I'll take it one small step at a time. Eventually I want to be able to "be myself" in the moment; live it, breath it, and swim in it.
Some days, it's hard work. Somedays, it's just hard.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
One set that makes it all worthwhile
On NYE, I went out with whim to a dance party on the Embarcadero. The goal was more to have fun rather than game. Two reasons, I'm not all that interested in pulling drunk sluts at the moment and pulling on NYE is way too much pressure. I could do without either, so I went out to have fun. And it was fun.
But once you start on the PUA road, there is no turning back... not really. So we opened as many sets as we could. It was surprisingly easy to open sets in that venue. Most sets didn't go anywhere, some sets almost went somewhere, but my skills at night game still needs a lot of work. Namely, I'm still not comfortable with aggressive kino. But that's another story for another time. What I wanted to write about is one particular set, one particular girl, that once again reminded me why I'm on this bumpy road.
She's a blonde (not much of a surprise here), and she looks a lot like Rachel McAddams. I opened her group but couldn't quite hook; she kept getting lead off by her friends. Finally I did corner her and asked for her "story". She bet me a dollar that I wouldn't have heard of her job. Of course, I took her on. Turns out, she's a genetic counsellor. I guess she's used to getting hit on by less intelligent types. I was very impressed, in turn I impressed her a bit with what I knew. She was hooked and I SOI'd. Then I asked for her relationship situation. She and her friends laughed, then showed me her engagement ring.
But this is exactly why I wanted to be a PUA. A few months ago I would not have had the skill to do that, to take destiny into my own hands and leave no stones unturned. Interacting with her, even if nothing happened, is exactly what I live for. Finding a girl that is sexy and smart in this world, is like hunting for diamonds in a coal mine. But getting close like this tells me it's not impossible, in fact, it's very probable. I just have to keep putting myself out there.
This year is going to be awesome.
But once you start on the PUA road, there is no turning back... not really. So we opened as many sets as we could. It was surprisingly easy to open sets in that venue. Most sets didn't go anywhere, some sets almost went somewhere, but my skills at night game still needs a lot of work. Namely, I'm still not comfortable with aggressive kino. But that's another story for another time. What I wanted to write about is one particular set, one particular girl, that once again reminded me why I'm on this bumpy road.
She's a blonde (not much of a surprise here), and she looks a lot like Rachel McAddams. I opened her group but couldn't quite hook; she kept getting lead off by her friends. Finally I did corner her and asked for her "story". She bet me a dollar that I wouldn't have heard of her job. Of course, I took her on. Turns out, she's a genetic counsellor. I guess she's used to getting hit on by less intelligent types. I was very impressed, in turn I impressed her a bit with what I knew. She was hooked and I SOI'd. Then I asked for her relationship situation. She and her friends laughed, then showed me her engagement ring.
But this is exactly why I wanted to be a PUA. A few months ago I would not have had the skill to do that, to take destiny into my own hands and leave no stones unturned. Interacting with her, even if nothing happened, is exactly what I live for. Finding a girl that is sexy and smart in this world, is like hunting for diamonds in a coal mine. But getting close like this tells me it's not impossible, in fact, it's very probable. I just have to keep putting myself out there.
This year is going to be awesome.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
FR: OMG Austin is so fun
I can't believe I lived in Austin for 5 years and was too hopeless of an AFC to have fun on 6th Street. I went back Friday night to show my cousin around and man, what a difference.
The night started pretty slow, and as a matter of fact, it was pretty slow overall because the college crowd were mostly out of town. But the girls in Austin were super easy to open. I had an astonishing 90% hooking rate with the sets I opened... and all the girls were gorgeous.
Warm up was at a bar full of dudes. I spied a 3-set of girls that took seats on stools around a table. The live band was really loud, so I waited until they finished before I opened. Opener was rather mundane, and it was just banter and chatting about what to do, got a bit personal. Pretty soon I ran out of stuff to say, and I asked too many questions. But the thing is, girls in Austin are super polite, even when they don't want to talk to you anymore. So it never feels awkward.
Bounced to The Library, and I was still feeling cold. I saw a two set, one girl really cute. After some hesitation, I went up and opened. Again, lame opener, but the set hooked. Turns out the girls are from California, so I had a lot to talk to them about. It was nice friendly conversation, but nothing too edgy. The girls are sisters, and the cute one lives in Austin now and "kind-of seeing" somebody. I decided not to pursue much further.
Then I opened direct on a blonde sitting in a booth with 4 of her friends. Again, it opened nicely, and even when she didn't want to talk (logistics made it impossible to isolate), she was super nice. That really warmed me up.
The best set of the night was outside. A 6-set of girls, one of them wearing a sash. I ran up and said happy birthday, she turned around and told me it wasn't her birthday. She's getting married.
Me: Oh... congratulations. So did you guys make a list?
Her: A list?
Me: Yeah, you know, a list of things you have to do before you get married tomorrow.
Girl Friend 1: No... we don't have a list.
Me: Okay, I'll start the list for you... let's see... you have to get 3 out of state phone numbers from strangers.
Girl Friend 2: Oh, this is fun...
Me: (turning to the girl next to me) Now you come up with one...
So we went around the circle and I had each of the girls make one item of the list. They were super into it and the bride-to-be was having a blast. She asked me if I wanted to tag along, while she completed the list, so I said alright. In retrospect, it would've been a lot better if I had a wing or two with me. One of her friends was really cute, but I couldn't isolate and it was too chaotic. I did see her complete every item on the list though, and I left the set because they were all underaged and I couldn't get them into any bars.
Opened a tall hot brunette (hottest girl I opened all night) in a loud hip-hop bar. Again, super nice, huge smile when I opened her. Couldn't talk much with the loud music and she was soon swallowed by her huge group of guy friends.
Lastly went to Pure, a very swanky dance club. And I discovered how easy it is just to go up and dance with girls in Austin. They are super friendly, I got to dance, kino and grind with some really cute girls. It was super fun.
Early on I spotted a two set, HBtall and HBhot. HBhot was on the dance floor getting mobbed by guys, and HBtall, I noticed was wearing a big diamond on her wedding finger. It was a while before I got next to HBtall and I started talking with her.
Me: (seeing she was standing there watching the dance floor) So, why aren't you in there dancing with your husband?
HBtall: ha... my husband is at home.
Me: Oh... he's no fun at all.
HBtall: But my recently single girlfriend is in there having a blast, making out with all the guys.
So we started talking and it turns out her friend HBhot is going through a divorce and wanted to come out and have a bit of fun (ie. external validation), and HBtall was there to make sure she didn't go home with an asshole. I basically charmed HBtall. But I had difficulties getting to HBhot because she was surrounded by guys all making out with her. I didn't want to become a part of that. I did however run into them outside and introduced myself. But I had no idea how to proceed with the PU at that point, and logistics made it impossible.
That night was a lot of fun. I think if I stayed in Austin longer, my night game will improve by leaps and bounds. The environment makes everything super easy, but the logistics this time was difficult. I didn't do a lot of things right, among them, I should have been a bit more aggressive on the dance floor. I should have kino-escalated to making out, but I didn't know how to do that without having established some sort of rapport (I basically opened on the dance floor and just proceeded to dancing with them).
My focus right now is still daygame, but if anytime I wanted to have fun at night or improve my night game, there's always Austin.
The night started pretty slow, and as a matter of fact, it was pretty slow overall because the college crowd were mostly out of town. But the girls in Austin were super easy to open. I had an astonishing 90% hooking rate with the sets I opened... and all the girls were gorgeous.
Warm up was at a bar full of dudes. I spied a 3-set of girls that took seats on stools around a table. The live band was really loud, so I waited until they finished before I opened. Opener was rather mundane, and it was just banter and chatting about what to do, got a bit personal. Pretty soon I ran out of stuff to say, and I asked too many questions. But the thing is, girls in Austin are super polite, even when they don't want to talk to you anymore. So it never feels awkward.
Bounced to The Library, and I was still feeling cold. I saw a two set, one girl really cute. After some hesitation, I went up and opened. Again, lame opener, but the set hooked. Turns out the girls are from California, so I had a lot to talk to them about. It was nice friendly conversation, but nothing too edgy. The girls are sisters, and the cute one lives in Austin now and "kind-of seeing" somebody. I decided not to pursue much further.
Then I opened direct on a blonde sitting in a booth with 4 of her friends. Again, it opened nicely, and even when she didn't want to talk (logistics made it impossible to isolate), she was super nice. That really warmed me up.
The best set of the night was outside. A 6-set of girls, one of them wearing a sash. I ran up and said happy birthday, she turned around and told me it wasn't her birthday. She's getting married.
Me: Oh... congratulations. So did you guys make a list?
Her: A list?
Me: Yeah, you know, a list of things you have to do before you get married tomorrow.
Girl Friend 1: No... we don't have a list.
Me: Okay, I'll start the list for you... let's see... you have to get 3 out of state phone numbers from strangers.
Girl Friend 2: Oh, this is fun...
Me: (turning to the girl next to me) Now you come up with one...
So we went around the circle and I had each of the girls make one item of the list. They were super into it and the bride-to-be was having a blast. She asked me if I wanted to tag along, while she completed the list, so I said alright. In retrospect, it would've been a lot better if I had a wing or two with me. One of her friends was really cute, but I couldn't isolate and it was too chaotic. I did see her complete every item on the list though, and I left the set because they were all underaged and I couldn't get them into any bars.
Opened a tall hot brunette (hottest girl I opened all night) in a loud hip-hop bar. Again, super nice, huge smile when I opened her. Couldn't talk much with the loud music and she was soon swallowed by her huge group of guy friends.
Lastly went to Pure, a very swanky dance club. And I discovered how easy it is just to go up and dance with girls in Austin. They are super friendly, I got to dance, kino and grind with some really cute girls. It was super fun.
Early on I spotted a two set, HBtall and HBhot. HBhot was on the dance floor getting mobbed by guys, and HBtall, I noticed was wearing a big diamond on her wedding finger. It was a while before I got next to HBtall and I started talking with her.
Me: (seeing she was standing there watching the dance floor) So, why aren't you in there dancing with your husband?
HBtall: ha... my husband is at home.
Me: Oh... he's no fun at all.
HBtall: But my recently single girlfriend is in there having a blast, making out with all the guys.
So we started talking and it turns out her friend HBhot is going through a divorce and wanted to come out and have a bit of fun (ie. external validation), and HBtall was there to make sure she didn't go home with an asshole. I basically charmed HBtall. But I had difficulties getting to HBhot because she was surrounded by guys all making out with her. I didn't want to become a part of that. I did however run into them outside and introduced myself. But I had no idea how to proceed with the PU at that point, and logistics made it impossible.
That night was a lot of fun. I think if I stayed in Austin longer, my night game will improve by leaps and bounds. The environment makes everything super easy, but the logistics this time was difficult. I didn't do a lot of things right, among them, I should have been a bit more aggressive on the dance floor. I should have kino-escalated to making out, but I didn't know how to do that without having established some sort of rapport (I basically opened on the dance floor and just proceeded to dancing with them).
My focus right now is still daygame, but if anytime I wanted to have fun at night or improve my night game, there's always Austin.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
FR: Unexpected Instadate
Today I didn't even want to go out, but I ended up going with PandaMan to the Apple Store. On the way back, we stopped by Borders. There wasn't much going on, but I ended up talking with a few people along the way, a sort of warm up, if you will. I got myself an iced tea and chatted with PandaMan. Just about when we were ready to go, I saw a really cute brunette (HB8) waiting for her coffee. I was sitting at the time, so I opened her with "I like your boots". She smiled and said thanks.
I told PandaMan to give me 5 minutes, and I'll meet him downstairs, which never ended up happening. I went over to the girl and reopened her. She immediately became very interesting to me. She has with her a copy of the Economist and a book titled Girls with Douchebags. We started talking about that... and it hooked right away. The opener was indirect (both times), but I immediately established direct interest (with the ur-cute-whats-ur-story line).
There's some vibe about her that just made it so comfortable to talk with her. I think she felt it too... we were talking, laughing and it was a lot of solid connection. Too bad she's from So-Cal and visiting just until Saturday. And it was immediately apparent to me that she is really smart, she said a lot of intelligent things. We spent a lot of time just standing up and talking, letting the conversation flow. It didn't even occur to me that it was awkward just standing there, until she said something about she needed to put her drinks down. We ended up finding a table and we sat there and talked for the next hour.
We talked about just about everything. I asked her early on what her relationship situation is and she told me that she recently got out of a 4 year long term relationship. Then I opened up about getting out of my 1 year on-again-off-again relationship that really screwed me over. I really liked talking with her, and it felt really honest and genuine, that connection. It was fucking cool to be able to just vibe with someone so honestly.
But I had a major problem. I didn't know where I want to take the interaction while I was there in the moment. She is definitely someone I would want to date, but since she's here only until Saturday, and I'll be busy for most of that time, I didn't know what I wanted. I felt like the interaction had to end, and I ended it after connecting with her for an hour. The ending felt more awkward than anything else. I did #-close her and fb-close her, but to what end? I didn't know.
Now that I had an hour to reflect on it, I know I should have pushed it much further. Just go to dinner; get drinks; venue bounce. I know all the theories, but it seems in the moment, I couldn't think of them. It would be much easier after so much vibe with her, just to get her to transition to something, somewhere else. I didn't capitalize on it... and that was a big lesson. I should be ready to pull at any time, and not doing it, is all in my head. All of it.
Another few other things I noticed. I had trouble holding eye-contact... I need to really work on that. Sometimes I feel I would get too drawn in, into her beauty, if I looked into her eyes. At the end of the day, I'm still not used to beauty... not yet. Also, I needed to ask more questions. I think the problem is that she found out more about me than I did about her. It should be more-or-less balanced and I didn't ask enough open ended questions to really let her shine. Lastly, while the conversation flowed, it was a bit unbalanced. What I mean by that is, I was really into the topics that I wanted to talk about, but I was a lot less connected with what she was talking about. I think the open-ended question would help in this situation. Also, just talk and listen... I tended to want to fill the void with conversation, instead of just letting the void be there.
But, the self-deprecating aside, it did feel good to be able to connect with an awesome person like that. It's been awhile since I had my last instadate and it is getting easier, much easier. And it's always good to know that there's smart, cute, and funny girls in So-Cal. Makes my heart warm in such cold gloomy weather.
I told PandaMan to give me 5 minutes, and I'll meet him downstairs, which never ended up happening. I went over to the girl and reopened her. She immediately became very interesting to me. She has with her a copy of the Economist and a book titled Girls with Douchebags. We started talking about that... and it hooked right away. The opener was indirect (both times), but I immediately established direct interest (with the ur-cute-whats-ur-story line).
There's some vibe about her that just made it so comfortable to talk with her. I think she felt it too... we were talking, laughing and it was a lot of solid connection. Too bad she's from So-Cal and visiting just until Saturday. And it was immediately apparent to me that she is really smart, she said a lot of intelligent things. We spent a lot of time just standing up and talking, letting the conversation flow. It didn't even occur to me that it was awkward just standing there, until she said something about she needed to put her drinks down. We ended up finding a table and we sat there and talked for the next hour.
We talked about just about everything. I asked her early on what her relationship situation is and she told me that she recently got out of a 4 year long term relationship. Then I opened up about getting out of my 1 year on-again-off-again relationship that really screwed me over. I really liked talking with her, and it felt really honest and genuine, that connection. It was fucking cool to be able to just vibe with someone so honestly.
But I had a major problem. I didn't know where I want to take the interaction while I was there in the moment. She is definitely someone I would want to date, but since she's here only until Saturday, and I'll be busy for most of that time, I didn't know what I wanted. I felt like the interaction had to end, and I ended it after connecting with her for an hour. The ending felt more awkward than anything else. I did #-close her and fb-close her, but to what end? I didn't know.
Now that I had an hour to reflect on it, I know I should have pushed it much further. Just go to dinner; get drinks; venue bounce. I know all the theories, but it seems in the moment, I couldn't think of them. It would be much easier after so much vibe with her, just to get her to transition to something, somewhere else. I didn't capitalize on it... and that was a big lesson. I should be ready to pull at any time, and not doing it, is all in my head. All of it.
Another few other things I noticed. I had trouble holding eye-contact... I need to really work on that. Sometimes I feel I would get too drawn in, into her beauty, if I looked into her eyes. At the end of the day, I'm still not used to beauty... not yet. Also, I needed to ask more questions. I think the problem is that she found out more about me than I did about her. It should be more-or-less balanced and I didn't ask enough open ended questions to really let her shine. Lastly, while the conversation flowed, it was a bit unbalanced. What I mean by that is, I was really into the topics that I wanted to talk about, but I was a lot less connected with what she was talking about. I think the open-ended question would help in this situation. Also, just talk and listen... I tended to want to fill the void with conversation, instead of just letting the void be there.
But, the self-deprecating aside, it did feel good to be able to connect with an awesome person like that. It's been awhile since I had my last instadate and it is getting easier, much easier. And it's always good to know that there's smart, cute, and funny girls in So-Cal. Makes my heart warm in such cold gloomy weather.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
FR: #-closed a stripper in the mall
This story is more funny than anything else.
I was doing daygame in the mall with whim, coldplayer and EG. Lots of shoppers around, very chaotic and I didn't see that many HBs. I did a few sets but it was all in-then-out and not much traction. Suddenly out of nowhere this tall brunette with gorgeous set of grey eyes (8.5) appeared. I had no time to think; it was almost reflex. I stopped her and did my usual direct opener. She hooked. It turns out she's from Sacramento and looking to move to SF. So I talk talk talk... things are going well. I decide to try to instadate.
Me: You know, I donno what you have going on in the next 5 minutes, but I'm enjoying this conversation... you wanna go grab a coffee and sit down?
Her: Well... I'm in a hurry, I have to go get a hair cut and then get to work, but can I give you my number instead?
Me: You work on saturday?
Her: Yeah... I work on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday...
Me: Huh... you seem pretty career-oriented.
Her: Well... no... I'm a dancer.
Me: Oh... what company do you dance for? [In my defense, I've met a lot of dancers who dance for Alonzo King's dance company...]
Her: No not like that... I'm a stripper.
OMG I am so clueless. Anyways, I want to play it cool, but how do you play it cool after that? I didn't know, so I went with the flow
Me: Oh... okay... you know I've only been to a strip club once in my life. It was for a friend's bachelor party at Garden of Eden. (i made a face). I thought it was kinda shady...
Her: oh no... my place is not like that at all... I work on XXX street, it's very respectable, lots of business men go there and it's topless only.
Me: Oh okay...
Her: So can I give you my number?
Anyways we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. The overall interaction is really short, and I didn't get a chance to tell her more of who I am and given my past history, this has a high chance of being a flake, so we'll see.
That was a new one for me. The plus is that I remained relaxed and calm, even tho she is really hot and I wasn't derailed by the whole stripper part of the conversation. The minus is that I didn't push harder for an instadate. So, I had to take it for what it is.
But you gotta admit, even if it's not good PU, it is at least hilarious.
I was doing daygame in the mall with whim, coldplayer and EG. Lots of shoppers around, very chaotic and I didn't see that many HBs. I did a few sets but it was all in-then-out and not much traction. Suddenly out of nowhere this tall brunette with gorgeous set of grey eyes (8.5) appeared. I had no time to think; it was almost reflex. I stopped her and did my usual direct opener. She hooked. It turns out she's from Sacramento and looking to move to SF. So I talk talk talk... things are going well. I decide to try to instadate.
Me: You know, I donno what you have going on in the next 5 minutes, but I'm enjoying this conversation... you wanna go grab a coffee and sit down?
Her: Well... I'm in a hurry, I have to go get a hair cut and then get to work, but can I give you my number instead?
Me: You work on saturday?
Her: Yeah... I work on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday...
Me: Huh... you seem pretty career-oriented.
Her: Well... no... I'm a dancer.
Me: Oh... what company do you dance for? [In my defense, I've met a lot of dancers who dance for Alonzo King's dance company...]
Her: No not like that... I'm a stripper.
OMG I am so clueless. Anyways, I want to play it cool, but how do you play it cool after that? I didn't know, so I went with the flow
Me: Oh... okay... you know I've only been to a strip club once in my life. It was for a friend's bachelor party at Garden of Eden. (i made a face). I thought it was kinda shady...
Her: oh no... my place is not like that at all... I work on XXX street, it's very respectable, lots of business men go there and it's topless only.
Me: Oh okay...
Her: So can I give you my number?
Anyways we exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. The overall interaction is really short, and I didn't get a chance to tell her more of who I am and given my past history, this has a high chance of being a flake, so we'll see.
That was a new one for me. The plus is that I remained relaxed and calm, even tho she is really hot and I wasn't derailed by the whole stripper part of the conversation. The minus is that I didn't push harder for an instadate. So, I had to take it for what it is.
But you gotta admit, even if it's not good PU, it is at least hilarious.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
End of the Year Slump
For the past few weeks things has been quiet in the PU front. In fact, things has been quiet in all the fronts, not just PU. I chalk it up to a sort kind of end of the year slump, or rather lethargy on my part.
I'm not worried about the slump, because I know it will go away eventually, but if we're talking about results, it's decidedly lacking in the past few weeks. After a few day-2s in November, I haven't gotten as much as a number close until this weekend. There weren't a lot of good targets for day game, and until last night, the crowds were thin at night as well. Maybe I'm just too picky, or perhaps I'm lazy, either way, something that I need to change soon.
I forced myself to go out to the mall yesterday. I got there way late, did opened two sets, one hooked. Afterwards I decided to go read my Economist instead. Just as I was about to sit down, I run into Zakster. Being in an underground society is kinda cool when I run into these same people everywhere I go.
Finally got a set that hooked at the mall yesterday. She was reading the mall map display, I slid next to her and opened with the oldest opener I know, "you know, I could never find anything on these things". I just kept talking and she laughed. I mostly talked about me and from her eyes I knew she was hooked. A bit later her friend came over and introduced herself to me and asked me to go with them to the Hello Kitty store. I passed, but I did get a #-close. She's from Santa Barbara, so I don't expect anything, but getting the #-close did make me feel a lot better.
One thing I've noticed a bit, and whim mentioned this week about himself on the forum, is that I think my sexual drive is a bit low these days. I'm no longer driven by this urgency for sex. Now this is a double edged sword. On the one hand, I'm not needy, I have no attachments to outcomes, and my inner game is strong. On the other hand, it makes me lazy and I don't push myself as hard. So I'm going to experiment with meditation to increase my sexual desire at will, at the same time maintaining zen and inner peace. We'll see how that works out.
I'm not worried about the slump, because I know it will go away eventually, but if we're talking about results, it's decidedly lacking in the past few weeks. After a few day-2s in November, I haven't gotten as much as a number close until this weekend. There weren't a lot of good targets for day game, and until last night, the crowds were thin at night as well. Maybe I'm just too picky, or perhaps I'm lazy, either way, something that I need to change soon.
I forced myself to go out to the mall yesterday. I got there way late, did opened two sets, one hooked. Afterwards I decided to go read my Economist instead. Just as I was about to sit down, I run into Zakster. Being in an underground society is kinda cool when I run into these same people everywhere I go.
Finally got a set that hooked at the mall yesterday. She was reading the mall map display, I slid next to her and opened with the oldest opener I know, "you know, I could never find anything on these things". I just kept talking and she laughed. I mostly talked about me and from her eyes I knew she was hooked. A bit later her friend came over and introduced herself to me and asked me to go with them to the Hello Kitty store. I passed, but I did get a #-close. She's from Santa Barbara, so I don't expect anything, but getting the #-close did make me feel a lot better.
One thing I've noticed a bit, and whim mentioned this week about himself on the forum, is that I think my sexual drive is a bit low these days. I'm no longer driven by this urgency for sex. Now this is a double edged sword. On the one hand, I'm not needy, I have no attachments to outcomes, and my inner game is strong. On the other hand, it makes me lazy and I don't push myself as hard. So I'm going to experiment with meditation to increase my sexual desire at will, at the same time maintaining zen and inner peace. We'll see how that works out.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
FR: Blow-out and redemption
On saturday I went out for daygame, met up with PandaMan and Lester. It was pretty bad. There were very few worthy sets, none of them hooked. Needless to say, I didn't complete any of the items of my list that day.
Half-way through, I got one of the worst blowouts thus far. I approached two really (9.5 hot) girls. I know they're from USC 'cuz there is the Stanford vs USC game that afternoon, and union square was filled with people wearing USC paraphernalia. I tapped one on the shoulder to open her, she did not stop. The crowd was thick, and I got cut off. I tried again.
Me: Hey stop... I just
Girl 1: No thanks.
Girl 2: We know you... you say the same thing to millions of girls.
Me: Haha...
I've never been blown out doing my direct opener before. This is the first time and I didn't know how to handle it. Afterwards, I thought, maybe say something witty, like "hundreds of girls... not millions" or something even more creative. But at the time, I laughed it off, but inside I was pretty shaken.
Afterwards my roommate offered a very useful insight. These girls are probably all sorority girls, which means they talk to each other. I definitely opened a set of USC girls before them, and word must have gotten across. That made me feel a lot better, but it was only after the fact.
For the rest of the session, my calibration was way off, and I couldn't hook any sets.
I felt a bit dejected, because the last few times I was out doing daygame, I've always had an instadate. The streak was broken. PandaMan and Lester both left a bit after 5pm and I went into Borders to find a book for myself.
I saw a cute girl looking at books at the fiction section. It took me a long time before I opened her. But I did.
Me: You look like someone who reads a lot, do you have any book recommendations?
Her: (Smiles) Ha... I'm a librarian. I'm actually looking for book recommendations myself.
Well, the set hooked very nicely. We talked about books for a bit, then got into a very personal discussion. She's a grad student and we each talked about our lives to eachother. I felt she was genuinely, interested and attracted. She was asking questions about me and telling me about her. So after talking for 5 minutes, I tried to instadate.
Me: You know, I really enjoyed talking with you. You wanna grab a coffee, sit somewhere and chat?
Her: (looks around) I'm actually here with my boyfriend...
Me: Oh... okay.
I continue as if nothing has happened and keeps talking, for another few minutes. This has happened a few times now, a girl with boyfriend who seemed genuinely interested. Very weird.
Although I didn't get anywhere with that girl, I felt much better. I made her day and I learned that I had not regressed after all. I'm still a PUA.
What I learned:
What I need to do better:
Half-way through, I got one of the worst blowouts thus far. I approached two really (9.5 hot) girls. I know they're from USC 'cuz there is the Stanford vs USC game that afternoon, and union square was filled with people wearing USC paraphernalia. I tapped one on the shoulder to open her, she did not stop. The crowd was thick, and I got cut off. I tried again.
Me: Hey stop... I just
Girl 1: No thanks.
Girl 2: We know you... you say the same thing to millions of girls.
Me: Haha...
I've never been blown out doing my direct opener before. This is the first time and I didn't know how to handle it. Afterwards, I thought, maybe say something witty, like "hundreds of girls... not millions" or something even more creative. But at the time, I laughed it off, but inside I was pretty shaken.
Afterwards my roommate offered a very useful insight. These girls are probably all sorority girls, which means they talk to each other. I definitely opened a set of USC girls before them, and word must have gotten across. That made me feel a lot better, but it was only after the fact.
For the rest of the session, my calibration was way off, and I couldn't hook any sets.
I felt a bit dejected, because the last few times I was out doing daygame, I've always had an instadate. The streak was broken. PandaMan and Lester both left a bit after 5pm and I went into Borders to find a book for myself.
I saw a cute girl looking at books at the fiction section. It took me a long time before I opened her. But I did.
Me: You look like someone who reads a lot, do you have any book recommendations?
Her: (Smiles) Ha... I'm a librarian. I'm actually looking for book recommendations myself.
Well, the set hooked very nicely. We talked about books for a bit, then got into a very personal discussion. She's a grad student and we each talked about our lives to eachother. I felt she was genuinely, interested and attracted. She was asking questions about me and telling me about her. So after talking for 5 minutes, I tried to instadate.
Me: You know, I really enjoyed talking with you. You wanna grab a coffee, sit somewhere and chat?
Her: (looks around) I'm actually here with my boyfriend...
Me: Oh... okay.
I continue as if nothing has happened and keeps talking, for another few minutes. This has happened a few times now, a girl with boyfriend who seemed genuinely interested. Very weird.
Although I didn't get anywhere with that girl, I felt much better. I made her day and I learned that I had not regressed after all. I'm still a PUA.
What I learned:
- Blowouts happen, even during the day. It's not me, nor is it anything that I could control
- I can hook sets, venue and target choice is an important factor
What I need to do better:
- Warm up faster, especially on slow days.
- Don't let blowouts affect my subsequent performance. Find ways to recalibrate after blowouts.
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