Ground Rules

I had a lot of time in the past few weeks to reflect. I asked myself some very difficult questions. Questions like, what makes me happy? Why do I want to do PU? What end result do I hope to achieve? At the end, I feel like I found a bit of my identity.

From these questions and their answers, I came up with 3 Ground Rules. These rules form the basis of my journey.

1. It's never about sex, it's about the love of a great woman.


2. If I'm not prepared to lose her, I have already lost her.


3. Never compromise my values and beliefs for any man or woman.

Rule #1. I used to think it's about sex, fucking as many girls as I can get my dick on. But that comes from a place of anger and resentment. I only thought I wanted that because I hated my own limited sexual experience. Recent experience showed me that it wasn't sex that I wanted the most, it was love. My distorted view didn't allow me to see that until the relationship was six-feet under. Given the choice of having one girl sucking me off everyday for the rest of my life versus a different girl sucking me off everyday, I would pick the former. Every single time. I can't allow myself to forget that.

Rule #2. Also from previous experience, I realize that when I find a girl that hooks for D2 or D3, I latch on too tightly. I become needy and I end up always drive them away. This comes from a place of scarcity and fear. This state of mind reinforces itself rapidly if not checked. The more afraid that I'll do something to drive away, the less I become myself, and the more I drive them away. I will internalize the abundance frame and this rule lets me do that.

Rule #3. Lastly, I need to be congruent with myself. The best way to be congruent is to project my values and beliefs and stand firm behind them. There will be times when these will be tested, and in those times I need to know who I am and who I want to be. A corollary to this rule is that I must find out what my values and beliefs are. I must ask the tough questions, not only of myself but also of others. Not only will these rules make me congruent, but also it will let my underlying confidence shine through.

These rules are just the beginning. I'm sure as time goes on, and as I get better at PU, they will be amended. I'm going recite these ground rules every day and come back to revisit them every six months. That is my plan.