Set 1
In the mall, saw a HB8.5 walk by us. My first thought: wow. My second thought: she's too young. I actually had a moment of hesitation, murmured to my team "I think she's too young"... but then I thought fuck it... if I don't open, I'll never find out. So I run after her, tap on the arm, plant my feet firmly on the ground, direct opener. I'm actually getting better at stopping moving sets.
She was a bit startled. I detected an accent, asked where she's from. Norway. Awesome... I start on my story of going to Sweden and meeting a group of Norwegian girls in Stockholm. So, we were standing there, talking for maybe 30 seconds. I decide to instadate.
Me: hey, let's go grab a coffee and we can sit down and chat.
Her: uh... I don't like coffee.
Me: Okay... tea then...
Her: uh... but I have to meet my friends, blah blah
Me: Sure... tea will take like five minutes...
Her: okay
I'm glad I was persistent in pushing for the instadate. Before I would've given up at the first sign of resistance. But as I get to know female psychology a bit better, it seems they just have these little voices that raises random concerns. As long as I hold a strong frame and just brush those concerns aside, I'm good to go.
So she actually end up calling her friends and telling them that she's gonna be late. I lead her downstairs to the food court level... ah ha... Jamba Juice. Better than tea. So I order, she orders, and I pay for both. She was reaching into her purse, gave me this look and I just smiled and said, "you can buy me a cookie later."
We grab our drinks and I lead her out, not to a table, but to a ledge of sorts right under the stairs. This way, I can sit right next to her. I do, and I make sure we're close enough that my leg touchs hers. Then I just vibe. Her first question to me was "how old are you?" I make her guess... she guess 22. Then I tell her the truth. I ask for her age, she tells me to guess. I guess right on the money. 19.
I just do a lot of connection and rapport. I told her stories about my travels in Europe, then I talk about all the places I lived... at the same time, I tried my best to kino escalate. Hand on knee... shoulders... wrist etc. The whole time, I'm just being authentic and genuine. In hindsight, I could've used more banter. But at the same time, I was also pretty relaxed, IMHO, so I just said what came to my mind.
Now comes the fun part... I decided to kiss close. Now, all this time, when she's talking she looks at me with her big beautiful blue eyes... so I had to go for it. One arm holding her around the waist... then I lean in...
Her: (leans back) what are you doing?
Me: (with a smile) I'm trying to kiss you.
Her: Uh... why?
Me: Because I think you're beautiful
Her: But... I'm kind of seeing somebody...
Me: Really? You have a boyfriend and you didn't tell me? (with a smirk... not accusatory)
Her: Well... he's not my boyfriend... blah blah
Me: Okay....
I pull back. Honestly, I was shaken for a few seconds... but... I went right back to comfort and connection. More DHV stories etc. We finish our drinks, we get up... go to a store... she wants to buy me my cookie. So, instead I pick out a peach (tasted horrible btw). I #close her when we're in the checkout line. She made a point of telling me that her phone isn't set up to do txt msgs yet, so I have to call her. We walk out... I hug her then I eject.
A few hours later, back at home, I call her number. She picks up.
Me: Hey... thanks for the peach
Her: haha... you're welcome
Me: Have fun in Vegas next week (she told me she's going to vegas)
Her: Thanks....
Me: Gimme a call next time you're in SF... let's hang out...
Her: okay....
Set 2
HB8 single set. I run after her, tap on the arms... direct opener and stops her dead in her tracks. I notice that she is really cute (brunette) and she seems very surprised by my direct opener.
Me: Doesn't this happen all the time?
Her: Uh... no
Me: Well... that's just so wrong. So... what's your story?
Her: I don't know if you want to hear my story... it's kind of boring (DLV #1)
Me: Why don't you tell me... and let me decide...
Her: I'm a teacher... i teach 3rd grade.
Me: I think that's awesome... blah blah blah (her eyes light up)
Anyways, we just stand there and talk. A bit later she DLVs herself again.
Me: (I was talking about how I went to lovefest and had a great time...) So, did you go to lovefest?
Her: No... I went to a professional development conference in blah blah blah... I know, it's not terribly interesting... blah blah (DLV #2)
Me: Well... as long as it's interesting to you. You obviously take your job seriously... so I think it's cool.
At this point I begin to feel a little silly just standing there and talking... so I try instadate again.
Me: Hey... why don't we grab some coffee and keep chatting...
Her: Well... I was on my way back to the car. I'm meeting my boyfriend and some of his friends to go see the bluegrass festival... but I don't know what the logistics are for that...
HUH? She used the word "logistics"? Who besides PUAs talk like that?
And more to the point, she has a boyfriend but she still stood there and talked with me for the past I don't know how long (it felt like a long time... minutes and minutes at least). I don't get it... am I giving off the "I just want a friend vibe?" My opener is pretty damned direct... I'm not quite sure she could've misread my intentions. But then again, no one else was there to observe the interaction... and my observation is obviously biased. So, needless to say, I'm confused.
With that, I didn't plough anymore... and I just let her go. In retrospect... I should've still pushed for the instadate like I did for the previous set. If anything just to find out what the hell was on her mind... maybe she's bored with her relationship... maybe she just want to disclose that she has a bf... or maybe I am really coming across as the guy who says, "I think you're really beautiful and I just want to be friends with you" to random strangers.
What I did well
- stopping sets
- ploughing through to get my first instadate
- pushing through the awkwardness after the rejected kiss attempt
What I need to do better
- push every set to the max... I think I let the second set go too easily
- I shouldn't be shaken at all by the rejected kiss attempt... and I should've tried the "kiss without touching" technique afterwards
- more sexual vibe... or at least SOI with sexy
But at the end of the day, I had a lot of fun... and learned a few important things. So, I'm happy with my progress; now I just need more calibration.
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