So I open. I don't even remember what I said exactly, but it's situational (duh) something about juggling. So apparently she just finished volunteering at the Children's museum and on her way home. I asked her how she learned to juggle; she told me a very interesting story; I SOA her. By this time, we're at the entrance of the mall. I decide to instadate.
Me: Hey... I think you're very interesting... It's not everyday I meet a person like you and I want to find out more. Let's grab coffee.
Her: Okay.
We walk into the mall. At this time I decide to try to relate to her story emotionally. I know nothing about juggling... so I tell her how I started doing Krav Maga one day, and just fell in love with it, kind of like how she decided to try juggling in the park one day and sorta just fell into it.
We go to Jamba juice and get drinks. I banter a tiny bit, some kino, but most of time I'm stick to very normal stuff, like finding out where she grew up, what she's studying, etc. I was very careful to make statements to her statements, so it doesn't become a Q&A session. For example,
Me: So what do you study at state?
Her: Liberal arts... (gives me a look)... a lot of people give me shit for it, cuz it's not very practical...
Me: You shouldn't listen to what they say. I took mostly technical classes at college but now I wish I had taken more liberal arts stuff. Besides, the most useful stuff in life you learn outside of school...
We walk outside, by this time I was talking about traveling. It's one of my default talking points, because I've been to a lot of places and usually I can find something interesting to share. So we talk and walk... then she was like, "um... where are we going?" I was so busy talking, I didn't actually think to much about that. Time for me to wear some pants and make a decision.
Me: I want to sit down. Let's go to Union Square and sit on the steps.
So I lead the way. At this point we were talking about what we were like in high school. Not a favorite talking point of mine, but I'm being genuine, so it works. We get to the steps on union squre and we sit down.
I'm almost at a point where I feel like we're running out of things to say. We haven't connected on too much stuff at this point. I threw a lot of stuff on the wall, but somehow, something was still missing. So I decided to up the ante a bit.
Me: So, are you seeing anyone?
Her: uh... yeah, I'm kind of seeing someone (avoiding eye contact)
Me: I'm curious, how did you meet him?
Her: Well... he's a juggler. We started out as friends, but then somehow we became a little more than friends...
Me: I think that's cool... I'm always interested in how people meet...the last girl I dated I met her at a picnic... blah blah
So I told her about my relationship situation... and how I was in 1 year on-and-off relationship with this girl I really liked that finally ended a little over a month ago. And that's when we connected. Because right after, she started opening up about how she got really messed up by a previous relationship. I actually felt the energy between us change. It turns out we learned the same thing at the end of our relationships... and that was cool. Well, that opened up a lot of things for us to talk about. We exchanged #s.
Then I decided to end on the high note, and go meet up with the other PUAs. I walked with her a bit as she was heading home... then I saw PandaMan, thelearningcurve, and whim pass me. I said goodbye to her at the next intersection and she came up and hugged me. That was kinda nice.
That night, I sent her a txt. Nothing fancy, just that I enjoyed running into her and wished her luck in her quest for a halloween costume.
Yesterday, i got a reply back. That was a solid close. I know, I know, I didn't get my dick sucked... but it's my choice what I want to do from here. I can keep her as a friend, or move a bit further. In any case, I made a new friend... and she's pretty interesting. I fulfilled my mission for that day.
What I learned/did well
- I genuinely connected with another human being... and I gave value to her and she gave value back to me. That felt good.
- Connect on emotional level... and making statements about me.
- Connection takes a little time. I have to be willing to throw stuff out there and let it catch... can't do it in 30 seconds, try 30 minutes instead.
- I realized that sometimes it feels like the set isn't going anywhere, but it actually is... just really slowly. I'm new at PU, and my sets are slow right now, but it doesn't mean I'm not on the right path. It just means I haven't found the short cuts yet.
What I need to do better
- More kino damn it!
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