FR: Blow-out and redemption

On saturday I went out for daygame, met up with PandaMan and Lester. It was pretty bad. There were very few worthy sets, none of them hooked. Needless to say, I didn't complete any of the items of my list that day.

Half-way through, I got one of the worst blowouts thus far. I approached two really (9.5 hot) girls. I know they're from USC 'cuz there is the Stanford vs USC game that afternoon, and union square was filled with people wearing USC paraphernalia. I tapped one on the shoulder to open her, she did not stop. The crowd was thick, and I got cut off. I tried again.

Me: Hey stop... I just
Girl 1: No thanks.
Girl 2: We know you... you say the same thing to millions of girls.
Me: Haha...

I've never been blown out doing my direct opener before. This is the first time and I didn't know how to handle it. Afterwards, I thought, maybe say something witty, like "hundreds of girls... not millions" or something even more creative. But at the time, I laughed it off, but inside I was pretty shaken.

Afterwards my roommate offered a very useful insight. These girls are probably all sorority girls, which means they talk to each other. I definitely opened a set of USC girls before them, and word must have gotten across. That made me feel a lot better, but it was only after the fact.

For the rest of the session, my calibration was way off, and I couldn't hook any sets.

I felt a bit dejected, because the last few times I was out doing daygame, I've always had an instadate. The streak was broken. PandaMan and Lester both left a bit after 5pm and I went into Borders to find a book for myself.

I saw a cute girl looking at books at the fiction section. It took me a long time before I opened her. But I did.

Me: You look like someone who reads a lot, do you have any book recommendations?
Her: (Smiles) Ha... I'm a librarian. I'm actually looking for book recommendations myself.

Well, the set hooked very nicely. We talked about books for a bit, then got into a very personal discussion. She's a grad student and we each talked about our lives to eachother. I felt she was genuinely, interested and attracted. She was asking questions about me and telling me about her. So after talking for 5 minutes, I tried to instadate.

Me: You know, I really enjoyed talking with you. You wanna grab a coffee, sit somewhere and chat?
Her: (looks around) I'm actually here with my boyfriend...
Me: Oh... okay.

I continue as if nothing has happened and keeps talking, for another few minutes. This has happened a few times now, a girl with boyfriend who seemed genuinely interested. Very weird.

Although I didn't get anywhere with that girl, I felt much better. I made her day and I learned that I had not regressed after all. I'm still a PUA.

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What I learned:

• Blowouts happen, even during the day. It's not me, nor is it anything that I could control


• I can hook sets, venue and target choice is an important factor

What I need to do better:

• Warm up faster, especially on slow days.


• Don't let blowouts affect my subsequent performance. Find ways to recalibrate after blowouts.

Slay the Ego and I Shall Be Free

A few hours ago, I had an emotional reaction.

I went to B's facebook page, something I haven't done in weeks. The only thing I saw, was at 3pm today (or yesterday), she changed her status from Single to In A Relationship.

This was inevitable. Whatever fantasies my subconscious may have had, my conscious mind know them to be just that. But still I felt something. I couldn't describe the feeling. It just bothered me.

It didn't feel like anger. I did feel like going to town on a punching bag, but that feeling lasted only a few seconds. It might have been jealousy, or envy, second cousins to anger. Regret? No, I've had enough time for that. At dinner, I thought maybe it's a feeling associated with my inability to forgive. I haven't forgiven her, and I have certainly not forgiven myself. But then again, the lack of forgiveness is not a feeling.

As I was walking back from my dinner, it dawned on me. What I felt was a bruised ego. I wanted to move on before she did, and she beat me to it. I wanted her to regret letting an amazing catch, me, go and she did the opposite. I gave my emotions freely to her, she gave none to me. My ego bled.

The race isn't about who will get over whom faster. In fact, there is no race. What I did yesterday is ancient history. It only matters what I do now, and who I become tomorrow. The rest, I must let go, along with my ego.

Realizing that made me feel a lot better. Sometimes it's difficult to check ego at the door, and we carry it with us inadvertently. I will be working on recognizing my hurt ego as early as possible so I can minimize the impact of this emotional reaction.

FR: Missed Makeout & Seated 6-set

Went out Friday night to North Beach for a little night game. Started in Maggie McGarry's, the only problem was the place is really loud with a live band playing 80s tunes full blast. First set I opened was disastrous, but it only got better from there. Out of the dozen sets, only two had something going.

Whim, funlife and I decided to go find a quieter bar. I led them into one, which had a decent crowd. A few opens, no hook. Then I went and sat on a stool near the middle of the floor. Behind me was a 4/5 set... all dudes. I turn around and open them. One guy recognizes my tshirt, we high-5... social proof. I talk for maybe 30 seconds. I realize got the social proof I needed, I don't need to spend all night talking to dudes, so I turn around and open a 2-set of girls. Whim helps me with one girl and I take the other.

I opened situationally. My target (HB7) had two beers and I was making fun of her for doublefisting. I notice she's kinda drunk, slurring her words. Then I just talk with her, finding out where she's from, all the time making sure to make more statements than questions. At this point I'm trying to find things to connect with her. I thought I could connect to her with her career... but after awhile that doesn't seem to work. Then we hit on politics and it turns out that she's somewhat passionate in that area. Even when she's drunk, I could tell she has read a lot about that. So I escalate on that... a snippit goes like this:

Her: ... Did you know that economic growth has always been faster under democratic presidents than republican presidents?
Me: (huge smile) I love it when you talk politics to me...
Her: (laughs)
Me: ... I think that's so sexy (I pull her into me, she doesn't resist)

By this time, Whim has long ejected from the set (I have no idea why)... but HB7's friends didn't try to cockblock (yet), so I'm still isolated with my target. At this time, my target is sitting on my lap. Well.. I'm sitting on a stool, her butt is leaned on my lap, my right arms around her waist. I #close. At this point, I could've made out with her and not doing that was a huge mistake. She turned her head really close, and I think she tried to make a move but I turned away (why did I do that? I didn't recognize the moment until a split second after it happened). I should've called it out. Needless to say, I won't be making that mistake ever again... haha.

Then her friends came and they wanted to go. I got cockblocked. We kissed goodbye... but that doesn't count as making out. So, lesson learned.

After that I went next door and found whim and funlife again (they ditched me w/o saying goodbye). There weren't that many sets, and whim was isolated with a girl on the couch. I saw a table full of girls, a seated 6-set. No one approached that set the entire time I was there and they looked intimidating. So I went and opened them. The opener was pretty weak, but I guess the very act of doing it was impressive enough, so I got in. I pulled a chair, sat down, and just kept plowing... it turns out these girls are all foreign, most from Germany. My limited knowledge of German got them cracking up. But entertaining a 6-set is extremely challenging... so I picked two girls nearest me and started that way. But I made sure to get the names of all 6 girls at some point.

Logistics for this 6-set was a nightmare. The cute girls are on the otherside of the round table. At one point, I just got up, went to the otherside of the table and started to talk to them. Finding myself standing once again, I found the nearest chair and just muscled my way in. It was not as graceful as it could've been. Anyhow, eventually I found myself isolated with the cutest girl in the set HB9.

I tried to connect with HB9, but most stuff doesn't stick. Then I asked her what she does for work. Usually that's a pretty boring topic, but it turns out, HB9 is very career oriented and she loves her work. She's here for an internship that she wanted for almost 10 years. Ah ha... I SOI on that.

Me: Wow... you are a total career woman... I think that's really sexy.
Her: Really? Most men don't like that about a woman...
Me: Yeah... that's because they're not confident enough. Most guys want to be the bread winner so their women will have to be dependent on them... blah blah blah
Her: That is so true...blah... blah... blah

I schedule a D2 with her... and I @close her because she just moved to SF and doesn't have a cell # yet. Then she asked me about "dating rules" in SF, because she was in NY for 3 months and she heard about all these "dating rules" that were new to her. Awesome topic... so asked her what she learned about dating in NY and I told her my take on dating and where I would take her on dates in SF. Then she told me a very elaborate and detailed story about her horrible halloween night in NYC. This is really cool because I think SOI on something she cared about really opened her up to me.

Then I detected an inconsistency. I made plans for D2 with her, and she kept saying it's "not a date". So I remember I forgot to ask for her relationship status, which turns out she has a bf back in Germany. Now that makes sense. I'll still followthrough with the D2 with her and try to take it as far as I can. She's really hot and I wouldn't be much of a man if I didn't try anything. Besides, I like her personality and I would have fun with her regardless of how far I can get with her.

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What I learned/did well

• Take time to find out what really hooks with a girl, then SOI on point that works really well. Different girls have different hooks and sometimes I have to try a lot of different things before I find something that works.


• Opening and plowing through the 6-set despite difficult logistics.


• Continuing approaching even when the beginning of the night was really slow and difficult.

What I need to do better

• Ask the important question, "what your relationship situation" as early as possible.


• Do a better job of holding sets and talking and befriending the potential obstacle.


• Recognize opportunities for makeouts and capitalize on them.

Facing My Fears

Yesterday I went to a talk by the famed PUA Juggler. I'm a big fan of the Juggler method and I try to incorporate as much of that as possible into my own game.

He said something that really made me think. Juggler challenged us to face our fears, every single day. The point is not to overcome or suppress fear. Instead, just go towards it. The moment I feel fear of doing something, then I must immediately go do it. This will allow me to get used to fear.

I immediately put it into practice. There were only one girl at the meeting, surrounded by PUAs. I went and started talking with her. Then during the round table discussion, she and her friend go up to leave, I thought to myself, "it would be pretty scary to get up and run after her and get her number". Since I thought about that, I had to go and do it. So I did. It worked.

I really like that feeling; facing fear and going towards it instead of shrinking away.