Prolonged Silence

I haven't blogged in awhile. In this case, it wasn't because of the lack of things happening in my life. On the contrary, a bit too much happened, and I'm more confused than anything else.

Consider my dilemma. I had an oneitis problem for almost an entire year. She is the most beautiful girl I've ever dated. She's smart, sexy, and fun. In short, everything I had wanted. Oh don't get me wrong, she wasn't perfect. She had plenty of issues, but don't we all?

But the problem was, at the time I wasn't ready to date a girl like that. My inner game was shit. I was unsure, lacked confidence, then became needy. It went down hill pretty fast and the sad part is that she liked me from the beginning. It was so easy, all I had to do was to fuck it up. And fuck it up I did.

She and I became on again off again, mostly off again. I was stuck on her. Every time I thought I would throw in the towel, I convinced myself to give it another try. Then I promptly get burned. I was in hell. So at last I decided to march myself out of hell by taking a workshop with socialsavant.

I came out a changed person. But just when I was given the tools to conquer women everywhere, she's back. The change was noticeable to her. I'm much more relaxed around her and I said all those things I never said before, did all the things I never did before. I ran attraction then I connected with her. Everything I was taught in the workshop, I used. It worked. But now she wants a relationship.

So imagine this: the girl you've been stuck on for the past year, the motivating force for the workshop you went through, the fantasy that was so close but remained just out of reach, suddenly comes back and says she wants you. What would you do? You'd be crazy to say no. I feel like I've been given a second chance; I gave myself that second chance.

But it doesn't have to be a choice. I could still game other girls. A part of me wants to be the player. I'm attracted by the thrill, the power, the fun, and of course, the sex. The steamy copious sex I've deserved. In the long term, I'll be happier. But the other part of me know how easy it is to make me happy. I want to spend more time with her and sex with her is pretty good. I only have so many hours in my week and I know if I'm with her, I won't practice my game as much. I'll be happy in the short term, but at some point I'll have to game again.

So it ends up being a choice nevertheless. Short-term hard work and long-term happiness versus short-term happiness and still have to pay the piper in time. Why can't I have the best of both worlds? Why does it have to be a choice?

So I'm in this quandary. I'm figuring a way out...

FR: more day game

Today I went out by myself to do more daygame in union square. I didn't get any #closes, but there were two sets that were noteworthy.

The first set, a very hot brunettte (HB8.5) sitting by herself on the steps of the square, obviously waiting for someone. I walk up, sat next to her, immediately opened. Honestly, I don't even know what opener I used, I just started talking. I made a mistake right away by leading with questions.

Me: So, where are you from?
Her: Here. (obviously a lie)
Me: Oh, I just detected a bit of accent, so I thought you were from somewhere else.
Her: (a bit offended) no, you're wrong...
Me: Well, okay, I think you're interesting so I wanted to come over and talk to you
Her: That's a very bad idea...
Me: Why?
Her: We would have nothing to talk about.
Me: (pause for two seconds) You know what, you're absolutely right.
Her: (a tiny smile, at which point I detected an opening and went for it)
Me: You look like someone who likes to travel, tell me about the last place you went to?
Her: I don't remember...
Me: (started to talk about my vacation to Costa Rica... etc)

At this point it might seem like the set is going really badly. She's not giving me much to work with, so I decided I have to talk a lot more. It worked beautifully, and she suddenly opened up and started telling me that she's been to China. I found out that she's Turkish, but raised in Germany and decided to come to SF on a whim. I SOI'd with "sexy" on that point and then showed more intentions asking her if she's waiting for a date. To which she replied "no he's just a friend, it's not a date". I asked her to tea on the spot, but it was just bad logistics (she's leaving on Monday, and has a lot of plans already). We talked until her friend arrived.

I liked this set because I really pushed and stayed in. I got her to open up when she was really closed off. I was able to recover from my mistakes and it ended up being a pretty decent set. It was probably the best outcome given the circumstances.

The next set, which I kicked myself afterwards, occurred immediately after. I was crossing the street and saw a cute brunette (HB8). I stood next to her, and opened immediately.

Me: (smile) Hi
Her: Hi (smiled back)
Me: You look like a professional shopper
Her: (laugh) Oh do I?
Me: Absolutely... you know, I'm looking for a Diesel store, do you happened to know where it is?
Her: I'm actually not from here but I think I saw one over there (pointing somewhere).
Me: Oh, so I'm going the wrong way. Cool. (kept walking with her)

I just kept walking and talking. I got to know her a bit, she's from portland and in town for a wedding. I really messed this set up because afterwards I realized she's probably really into me. I asked her to coffee immediately, but she said she's on a time crunch, needed to get a gift at H&M and go to the wedding. I gave up too soon... I should have gone to H&M with her and shopped with her. It totally didn't occur to me until later. She was smiling, laughing, and I could and should have done way more with that set.

Anyways, the positives from today is that I went out by myself and I've gotten really comfortable with daygame. I was able to open situationally on the streets, both moving and stationary. I turned one interaction around when it wasn't going well.

But the negatives outweighed the positives today. I didn't push the easy set. It was totally retarded, like it was too easy so I just decided to throw it away. I didn't ask enough open ended questions and I really didn't get sexual. Kino was defintely lacking also.

So, those are definitely points to work on next time.

Workshop Graduate

I finished my workshop package with Social Savant on Sunday. I grew by leaps and bounds and the transformation has been quite dramatic.

I finally understood the meaning of natural game. The first change from before is that I completely removed all my canned materials and routines. It turns out that I don't need them, so I won't use them. It's much more interesting to come up with a normal conversation. The second change is that I'm way more confident in my interactions with women. I know what to do now. It doesn't mean I get everything right, far from it, but I know what I did wrong and how to improve. Third, I'm much more relaxed. I'm starting to notice little things that I never noticed before. Now I could sometimes pick up on IOIs from girls on the spot. Lastly, I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone, out of the dead zone. I'm sticking in sets for longer, closing more efficiently, trying different kino, and attempting new things in general. In the end, I'm having way more fun at night, and feeling a lot better with my day-game. This workshop really made a difference.

There's still a long way to go. I'm setting goals and reaching them. I feel like I'm finally prepared for the long journey ahead of me. It's looking to be a fun journey.

FR: day-game #closes

I was out in Union Square, doing day-game. Two sets stands out in memory. These are very different sets: onne I felt really good about, the other I thought was really pathetic.

First, H&M. I went looking for dress socks, and at the men's section a hired-gun (HB7.5) was hanging stuff on the racks. I was in a very social mood, so I opened immediately.

Me: Ah, there they are. I've been looking for these socks, you guys used to have them at the front.
HB: Yeah, we're moving stuff around... blah blah blah
Me: You know, I was told recently that I should be wearing black socks. Apparently wearing white socks is a fashion faux pas.
HB: (giggles) I wear white socks sometimes...
Me: Well... I suppose you can get away with it. You're a cute blonde. People look at your eyes and your boobs, but not at your feet. (looking at her eyes, boobs, then feet, huge smile)
HB: (stares at me for 1/2 second, then breaks out laughing).

Then we banter a bit more, she mumbled some story about her wearing white socks... Then I did a disqualification.

Me: You know, I was attracted to you until you said that, but now... (huge smile)
HB: (laughs)

Then I stopped talking and just looked at her. She got a bit awkward and was like "umm...", I immediately asked her to coffee. She blurted out "yes" immediately... almost a bit too fast. Done and done. This is my first hired-gun close. I just got the vibe from the start that she's into me, I can't even explain it. I had no intention of closing her when I opened (I didn't even see her face at first). The set was run on pure attraction. There was no connection... I didn't have time to get to know her. I SOI'd and pushed sexually from the start (I need to remember this and keep consistent when I D2 her). The funny thing is that some of my best sets happen when I go in with no intention of gaming. I guess that's when I'm most relaxed.

Second, in Union Square. I was tired and told my instructors (Derek and Dan) that I was done for the day. As we were crossing the square, a girl (HBbrunette) caught my eye. Dan saw immediately, and told me to go after her. I jogged to catch up. I opened with the stock: I saw you and I thought you looked interesting, I just wanted to meet you and say hi. I saw that surprised look that I usually see, but there was something else I couldn't quite place. Memory is a bit hazy at this point, but I believe she asked me for my name first.

I asked her for her story, and was told "I'm still working on it". I told her a quick (not at all well polished) version of my story, of being an entrepreneur. At this point I was a bit nervous because I noticed that she is very pretty. All the while, we were walking toward Borders and I just stopped and sat down on a concrete block. She stopped too. At this point she was telling me she's going to study for a midterm for her photo journalism class, wanted to be a journalist and go to the Congo or something like that.

At this point I thought that the set was going horribly. She wasn't smiling, wasn't laughing, body language was all wrong and obviously in a hurry to get somewhere. I felt that I built very little connection. I SOI'd with "sexy" on not much of anything. If this was any other time, I would've looked for a quick way out. But I pushed, and asked her to coffee. To my surprise, she said she doesn't do coffee but she'll do tea. I mumbled something about I don't drink coffee either, and when I say coffee I really mean tea (uh... that was horrible). Then more talking and she starts to mumble something about the place that she usually drinks tea at. If this makes no sense, it's because it didn't... I had no idea what's going on. I #closed her... then reached out my hand. She took it to shake it, but then I held on to her fingertips a bit longer than usual as she backed away.

Derek and Dan saw all of it and I was shocked when Dan told me he thought that I ran a great set. He pointed out something that I didn't think of at the moment. She was in a very heavy mood when I opened her, and probably had a lot of dark stuff on her mind. Dan said I turned her around quite nicely. I was disappointed because I did a lot of things wrong, I mumbled at times, my connection really wasn't there. I was nervous. But looking back at it today, I think she was really nervous too. I couldn't read her very well because there was just too much going on with her at the time.

Anyways, I'm curious how these two very different sets will play out.

FR: I apologize for staring at your boobs...

I went out on Thursday night and met up with a few friends at a local bar. The place was not even half full there weren't many targets to choose from. I warmed up with a guy at the bar, then went back to the outside patio section to shoot the shit with my friends. While I was doing this, I did a brief glance over at the place and saw only one interesting set. A blonde (HB8) and her friend (HB5) sitting by themselves at a table.

While I was talking with my friends, the blonde came outside to smoke. I immediately opened her, or rather, she opened us first, asking if this was a private party. Someone replied no, but I immediately followed up with "I'm going to charge you admission fee" with a big grin. I introduced myself and talked with her for a few seconds. I couldn't pay too much attention to her because one of my friend was talking to me. By the time she finished, the blonde was already done with her cigarette and went inside.

At this time some of my friends (my pivots actually), started teasing me. Apparently I was staring at the blonde's boobs. I know I looked at her boobs (they were nice), but I didn't think I was staring. But my friends insisted that I was too obvious and gave me a hard time. So I told them I'm going to go over to the set and apologize to the blonde for staring. They all thought it was a horrible idea and said I shouldn't do it. But my mind was made up.

I walked over to the 2-set, briefly introduced myself (because the other girl hasn't met me yet). Then launched right into my apology.

Me: Okay, so my friends were giving me a hard time just now, because they said I was staring at your boobs.
(Both girls had their mouth agape for a second and went berserk with laughter.)
HB5: Were you? ... staring?
Me: I admit I glanced at them a few times (gesturing towards the blonde's boobs)... I'm sorry.
(more laughter)
HB8: OMG...I didn't even notice...
Me: Well. I guess my friends were looking at me like a hawk...
(more laughter)
HB8: Now I feel bad... maybe I should cover up more...
(blonde proceeds to try to cover up more)
Me: Oh no... don't do that! Leave them out, they're beautiful.
(they went hysterical at this point)

I was on fire from then on. I ended up talking to the set for a long time. It turns out the blonde is a stay-at-home mom with 5 kids (OMG she looked good... MILF!). I ran a lot of attraction then did a bit of connection. I had an amazing conversation with these girls.

After I went back to my group, my pivots were amazed. I felt pretty good after that. I concluded the night with a #close on a different girl near the pool table. It involved dancing, isolation, SOI with "sexy", a bit of connection... then #closed.

This is really getting easier (and more fun).